on some ship, passing through

the next bardo. I woke up somehow, simply, ready, this morning. That is, ready to be an adult in my life and step into this great vision that we were bold enough to dream up and even bolder to now make manifest. Or allow to manifested through us while our butts are getting kicked by the holy. It is a scary thing when all of your dreams are about to come true and anyone who says anything else is either lying or selling something. In any event, I woke up this morning and sat at the altar with the roses and the Picture of Matka Chestechowa (yesterday was her feast day) and felt somehow calm and at peace and ready. Still scared, but willing to do it anyway- start a business of a healing arts center, teach classes, have clients, make herbal medicines, have a garden, a dog, chickens and sheep, and whatever else shows us is needed.

And still, I feel as if I am passing through the Bardo time, the time between. It is only that I've stopped kicking and screaming as I was being dragged into the boat. Or being beaten by Chairon's oar. Chairon is the ferrier across the river Styx. He must be paid by a coin and usually the passage is one way. Unless you are lucky enough to have a second coin, or a golden bough, be a heroine, or to borrow from another myth, a Phoenix. Even though I have no idea which of the options will show up at their appointed time, I now I am sitting calmly, with no idea of where I am being taken, but watching the scenery go by and the journey unfold. At the moment, it is enough to notice that the fear and doubt and overwhelm, is only a mind trick, a moment of freak out that need only be recognized and then, as my friend said the other night, "put where it belongs", to which I replied, "The Compost!"