The Rauhnaechte, or, the pagan bardo between Christmas and The Epiphany

New Grange, Ireland, and the Winter Solstice dagger of light. As  a dear friend of mine said, one may know what lies within only by going in, otherwise, there is little to talk about. Talking about such things trivializes them and renders them obsolete. The invitation is to experience them, to enter the darkness with a full heart and a willingness to be emptied. The unknown gift of the return of the light and the ability to read the signs in our lives. Here is the opening to the womb of the dark, in which the birth of light is participated in, celebrated, known.

 The spiral brings us also back in on our selves, back into the center point, the dark point, the, as my tai chi teacher said, apparent closure, and leads us out again into openness, light, and birth. Sunwise, moonwise, earthwise, turning, turning, turning. Celebrating the wheel of the year, the ever spiralling time of a year's cycle through the seasons, through the dark and into the light.

Being here in Germany at this time, I notice two things very strongly. Firstly, because my childhood memories are not from this place of food, family, traditions of gift giving and time spent together, and because I am not christian in belief or practice, I am left rather empty about the experience of christmas going on around me. Which is not to say that I do not value the traditions of my German family and the time spent together. I do value those experiences very much. But, I am aware that underneath the current enjoyment, there is a rather large space of non-meaning, a hole of dark, which is absolutely in order for the season. And, I notice myself also searching, reaching, longing, as always, for depth of meaning, ancient knowing, human truth hidden in mindless rituals that stay on the surface. From an email with a friend: christmas is such an interesting thing. i agree with a- about the commercialism, and i know you actually do too (though you love shopping!). it doesn't have anything to do with the meaning of christmas. i am not a practicing christian, but i was raised from the time i was 8 to 16 going to church, so i know the traditions and the meaning. It is just that it is lost on me. i think of the return of the light with the solstice and the birth of the sun as the natural reality of this time that is seen through the lense of the christian story of jesus. But every religion and faith has some winter time festival of light. The darkest days of the year are upon us and we as humans always celebrate the return of the light, the movement towards spring, the rebirth of our life for one more year. and i think coming together, and feasting, and lighting candles and cooking traditional foods and sharing time together is really important. And the symbols of the time are important- christmas trees, stars, if one is religious the creche and the story of jesus. And it is a time for looking back at the year and being grateful for what we have and looking ahead with possibility. just because there is also a commercial buying overlay doesn't mean we have to give up the deeper meaning.


The second thing I notice very strongly, is the dark. It is very very dark here. We have for 3 months about 8 hours of light per day. And most of those days are rainy. And this year, there is very little snow, a lot of rain, and it is weirdly warm for the season of year. This darkness explains why in this western/northern hemisphere culture, the big stories are based on the fight of the light, or good, and the dark, or evil. Because it is such a tangible thing to be submersed in darkness. And while the darkness is, as a former teacher said, fruitful, it is also, at a survival level, untenable. We are, like plants, built to seek the light and the warmth. We know in our bones and guts that light means life and dark means death. Why else would we think of intentionally built archeoastronomical mounds/caves as graves rather than ceremonial places of great transformation? We confuse transformation with death all of the time. And the great possibility and hope of the return of the light, the promise of warmth and new life, is as powerful an image as we humans can recognize.


Having just passed through the darkest night and the great pageant of christmas, now between the Rauhnaechten- the 12 days "of christmas" or the 12 days between december 25 and january 6, (which the church has overlaid with christian symbolism), are the days when spirits move along the earth. It is important to stay home, to stay warm and careful during these 12 days and nights. Fights, sicknesses, strange weather, are all signs of the spirits afoot. Each day is said to be a portend for the month for which it stands- the first day being january, the second day, february, and so on. Much to think about in these times and days. So much to integrate, signs to read and understand, the new life to welcome and the old one to let go of. I suppose, as they do every year, these days between Christmas and New Year's cause me to grow philosophical, to look for meaning and depth, to "go inward" as we used to say at the Zen center. There truly is a lot of darkness here- so little daylight and so many grey clouds. And it causes me to reflect on the darkness within us as a species, and the light within us. The ability to make meaning, to tell stories, to make beauty, to love.