coming into the close of the year

One can see that I am not a writer. I come to this blog sporadically, when either the mood strikes me or the time allows. I would actually like to write more, but I seem to always pack my life full of things to do. Sometimes, these things are wonderful, inspiring, and nourishing. Other times, I seem to to be so busy I am barely at home with no time to cook and I have no idea, other than work, what I have done that day. And I only work a half time job. Granted, looking for houses and driving all around the Hochtaunus takes time. And driving to my parent's in law and spending the night. But, for example, I seem to have had very little time for studying herbs (exactly none) since August.

We are not really any closer to finding "the house", but we have really learned a lot about what we don't want and what we do. For example we know now that we want about half an acre of land for the house/garden itself with a barn, and then we need to rent/buy about 2 acres to have our imaginary but hopefully later very real 8-10 sheep on a rotational grazing style pasture.

I am reading Marie de Brebis: the rich sound of the simple life (in German!!!) by Christian Signol. Marie told her life story to Christian two years before she died and he published it as a book. In the southern mountains of France, she was found in 1901  by a Shepherd in the middle of his herd of sheep with a note that her name was Marie. She grew up as a shepard, married, had children, lived through two wars, healed people with her hands, made bread, and kept always her beautiful devotion, her joy in life, and her great loving open heart. She is my new heroine and I definitely want to be her when I grow up. That is to say, she has realized the vow that I also have, to love all beings, and lives a truly handmade life, steeped in her culture and her community and her time.

After her lambs are born and she watches them jump around, she says "The animals are born far more mature than the human child. We are not so superior to them, as is often thought. When people were a little humbler and wiser, they would study the life of plants and animals more closely.But people often have crazy ideas to rush forwards without knowing why, without taking the time to look at themselves. And in spring, when the grass begins to grow between the stones, one can learn more than from all the smartest machines. But who thinks of these things anymore?"

 Now comes the weeks before Christmas, a holiday which I celebrate obliquely and more pagan than christian (tree, presents, food, candles, Winter solstice/"rebirth" of the Sun), going along for the ride, as it were, on the coattails of st. nick. And so I have started baking, of course, and making hand made christmas presents- felt stars for christmas ornaments and nets of stars for wall decorations, a vest hopefully for nic, if I can pull it off, jam, candied ginger, membrillo (quince paste), chutneys, etc. We have our tree already, but won't put it up till next week. Christmas markets are in full swing, which accentuate two things about christmas- its non-stop all-out consumeristic frenzy of shopping, and its non-stop, all-out gathering of people in the dark of the year to drink, eat, and be together. Which is really what the time is about. Marie knew that, what it means to live depending on neighbors and friends helping each other through the year, and celebrating the festivals and feast days through the year to dance, eat, sing, and celebrate the crazy beautiful joy of being alive and the gratefulness of living though the whole cycle of the year, one more time.