Christmas in Germany

Snow. Lots of it. Feet of it. Days and days of it. Until Monday, when it stopped.  That day we left Großkrotzenburg with our little car full of stuff and headed for Niederursel, to our new home, to finally start painting.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Christmas really starts on the 24th here and then there are two days following, so the holiday is three days long. Heilige Abend, or holy evening, is Christmas eve. And in the western and southern parts of Germany the Christkind comes on Heilige Abend (because jesus was born that evening) and brings the presents, which everyone opens that evening. In the northern and Eastern parts of Germany, (Protestant reform, ever heard of a man named Luther? therefore no Christkind-which is a mixture of angel and christ, past and present and future) there is the Weihnachtsmann, or Christmas man, who brings the presents in the night and they are opened the next morning (read: Santa Claus). Being in the Catholic part of the country, we opened our presents on Christmas eve. Nic and I went to hear the choir at her old school run by the Fransican monastery, which was lovely, and we got to walk in the snow. Then we had a lovely dinner and opened our presents.

I received Nigel Slater's first volume of Tender all about vegetables. The pictures of the garden are exquisite. I am still not quite done reading the volume i got for my birthday, so I haven't started reading it yet. But so far, it looks amazing. Oh, and a new cooking pot- medium sized, good for cooking pasta etc. And the sweetest little felt wool sheep that stands on the palm of my hand, grazing. She is the preview or ersatz sheep until we have land and can buy our first sheep of our own. My mother incidentally has a friend from high school who is moving to Ireland full time next year from the states and he has sheep and we can go visit and learn how to shear and milk and everything sheep related. He keeps merino sheep and angora goats. I am hoping to get some wool sent here way before we go visit. Like in the next weeks.

Christmas morning the duck went in the oven stuffed with Hokkaido winter squash, chestnuts, apple, quince, and hazelnuts. And we had pierogi, duck, and red cabbage cooked with onions and apples followed by Christmas cookies. Christmas cookies, by the way, are traditionally not eaten until Christmas eve here, so we baked all these different kinds of cookies and then couldn't eat any of them.

It snowing all three days meant that we couldn't drive anywhere and no one could visit us, so we had lovely quiet days with Nic's parents eating, playing cards, singing Christmas carols, and being together.

All of that said, I had to wonder often through the days what Christmas really means to me. Jesus as a child and the story of Christianity doesn't actually have any resonance with me. Of course, what is important is the food and friendship and the traditions of the time. Those I can connect to, and enjoy thoroughly. However, I couldn't find any root for the holiday, nothing to track it to that made sense for me. The solstice is much more resonant. I walked out around sunrise on the morning of the 21rst, which at this latitude (50 7 N 8 41 E) was 8:22am (By way of comparison: NYC 40 47 N 73 58 W and the sun rose at 7:11 that morning) But it is interesting that because no one around here, publicly anymore anyway, celebrates the solstice, it just doesn't have the psychic reverberance that Christmas does. With Christmas Markets and everything so CHRISTMAS here in Germany, there isn't much psychic space for anything else during that time, no matter which religion. I kept reminding myself on christmas day that for so many people around the world, it was just a Saturday. That said, the time together and sharing the traditions of the holiday were beautiful. especially our tree, which I will add a picture of when i am back in Großkrotzenburg and can transfer it from the camera.

For now, I am sitting on the floor in our new apartment, with almost no furniture, having painted three of the five rooms, happy to be in an almost empty apartment (I brought things for the kitchen, of course) with the quiet and the candle.

in a Winter Storm

I came back to Großkrotzenburg tonight on auto pilot instead of going to our new apartment. excuse me NEW APARTMENT!!! in the middle of a blizzard which i hope has stopped which will allow me tomorrow morning to get to work. Which, by the way is one street over from our NEW APARTMENT. I am not sure why I came back here tonight, except that i was prepared to do that and didn't think about it. Which is typical of any and all problems in my life- they start with me not thinking and then opening my mouth and inserting my foot, or just picking up that same foot and stepping in a pile of it. Or i just proceed gamely along, not thinking, until I can't and then i wonder, what happened?

Somehow, in the midst of all of this falling snow and foot issues I have been miraculously, continuously, lovingly cared for by mothers in various countries, friends in even more countries, strangers, bus drivers, bosses, co-workers, aquaintances, and surely a host of invisible beings who protect me and guide me- beautiful human fool that i am, that we all are, along my way. I am so thankful and grateful to be alive. Grateful to be in another country and have food to eat and a home to live in and A NEW APARTMENT and friendships beginning, and still some friends from the states who still care and write and love me. As a friend said the other day, it basically all boils down to gratitude to be alive. I can be the richest person in the world, but if I am not grateful, what good is it?

Reading Charles Dickens' a Christmas Carol, which I never have before. Which, by the way is fabulous. And of course, the whole thing with Scrooge is, he has all the money he could ever ever use and he is miserable and impoverished internally. I don't have 100 Euros to rub together, but I hope I am internally rich. At least I feel so. I catch myself thinking quite often- Wow, I feel like the richest person alive- after coming upon some secret ordinary wonder or beauty-gift from life.

For example, today I had fresh goat cheese and a pear, dates and walnuts for breakfast with green tea. My wife (I have a wife!) made me a coffee with sheeps milk and then i walked to work (from our new apartment), where I got to cook yummy things for 5 hours (including a banana hazelnut chocolate cake). Could I be luckier? I don't think so. And the biggest gift of all is that I know it.

As another friend said, my god how I love this life.

Thursday Potato Soup
2 Leeks
4 onions
10 potatoes
3 carrots

vegetable stock
salt and pepper
bay leaves
garlic
chili
marjoran
cream
butter
lemon rind
parsley

Peel the carrots and potatoes, cut off the tough part of the greens from the leeks, peel the onions and put all "discarded" trimmings with the bay eaves into water and simmer.

Chop carrots and onions and leeks in a fine dice and sautee in a pan with salt and pepper. Add the garlic, which you have macerated with salt using the side of your knife on the cutting board or in a mortar and pestle.

Either pour the stock into another pot or take all the trimmings out of the one you made the stock in, quarter the potatoes and put them in the stock to cook until soft. Mash the potatoes when soft. Add the sauteed veggies, marjoran, and chili, and finely chopped lemon rind. Simmer for 10 minutes. Add the cream and fresh parsley.

Alp horn

Look what we heard at the Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas Market. Not exactly them, but some folks from around here. So pretty and calming. It comes from the Alps and you can hear the sound of these horns from very far away.

Foodie Post

Look what I found while looking for the turkey recipe!
A foodie tv series produced by Gourmet Magazine!

Here is what it says on the website:
With the breadth of international travel combined with a passion for food, Gourmet's Diary of a Foodie delivers a unique cultural look at the world, food first. Each episode of this mouthwatering food, culture, and travel series dives into the diverse realm of the world's greatest cuisine, from New Zealand's purest honey to Italy's famous Parmigiano-Reggiano. Over the course of 20 half-hour episodes, this James Beard Award-winning series promises to unearth an all-new feast of fabulous food trends, exotic ingredients, and in-the-know food players.

I have to watch every episode, of course. I watched Hawaii today. Farmers, Cooks, Culture. I couldn't be happier! I think Food- its growing, its traditions, its yumminess- is really my expression of creativity. Then wool. Oh and then singing and performing. But food is first.

Speaking of food, here is the recipe for the turkey. If you are planing on doing turkey for Christmas, this is your recipe. trust me.

Here are a few recipes I created this last week...

Autumn Chicken Salad

1 cup Leftover chicken, whatever you got, shredded
1 small fennel bulb, thinly sliced (including some of the "feathers"
1/2 red onion, finely diced
1/2 cup roasted walnuts
1/2 an apple, sliced in three sections, cored, and thinly sliced
8-12 oil cured black olives, pits removed and torn in thirds
olive oil, white balsamic vinegar, salt, fresh crushed black pepper

Just mix it all together.

Sausages with red onions and apples in a mustard sauce

2 mild pork sausages, sliced in 3/4 inch slices on the diagonal
1 apple, cored and quartered and sliced in short fat slices across the quarter
1 red onion
thyme
parsley
mustard
cream
salt
sumac

sausages and onions:
peel, halve, and slice onion and put in pan with olive oil
cut up sausages and add
cover and sauté on a med high flame till sausages are browned and onion is translucent
turn down flame and add salt, finish cooking and put into a bowl
next:
add cream, thyme and parsley (if dried) to pan, warm
add mustard, black fresh ground pepper, and salt
take off the heat (if fresh, add the chopped herbs now)
pour over sausages
last:
put an almond-sized piece of butter in the pan, melt
add apple pieces and sauté till slightly browned
pour onto sausages
sprinkle sumac and smoked salt on top, if you have them
eat slow if you can.

For my birthday I received Nigel Slater's new cookbook, or cookery book as he calls it, called Tender II. Tender I was about vegetables and this one is about fruits. He is exactly the kind of cook I aspire to be, a soul brother elder in the garden and kitchen pointing the way. All of the vegetables and fruits in Tender he grows in his garden. He grows them. THen he cooks them. Without being some celebrity chef, although he writes a column in a newspaper about cooking and he has a television series on the bbc about simple cooking, oh and a film has just been made based on his autobiography, Toast: the story of a boy's hunger. However, his recipes are simple, rarely having more than 10 ingredients, and deeply nourishing. His passion for good food, for growing food, and for life, are apparent in each of the recipes. I cannot more highly recommend that you go and buy his cookbook and let it inspire your garden, your purchases at farmer's markets, and you cooking.  Hooray Nigel Slater! And the best thing is, my sister has promised to order  Tender I as a belated birthday present! Please visit Nigel Slater's website for recipes and a list of his books.

and lastly, in gratitude to those I eat with and speak of the Great Everything with;

before the walrus and the carpenter feasted on the oysters the walrus was purported to have said:
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--

Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings."

Birthday Post

Happy Thanksgiving Birthday to Me

Menu

Turkey brined in beer and salt water and then roasted with a barley malt and apple cider vinegar sage glaze

Stuffing with chestnuts, quince, fennel, onion

Creamed leeks and mushrooms in Bechamel

Gravy and au jou

Green salad with cranberry vinaigrette

Cranberry sauce with oranges and apples

Mashed potatoes

Pumpkin pie and apple pie with whipped cream

It was wonderful and a smashing success in the food department. I think a good time was had by all. At a certain point I sat watching everyone eat and talk and drink beer and wine and laugh and generally enjoy themselves and i wept at how grateful i was to cook for three days and have it be so received and taste really good. It was a moment of feeling deeply in relationship and belonging and happily of service and wildly in love with food and people and life, the last of which is my favorite state to be in. So, I had to cry a little from happiness and contentment. Here are some photos...

November means Wind

In Germany, November seems to have a similar flavor as march in the states- in like a lion, out like a lamb- except reversed. And it was a rather wet lamb in the beginning as it rained the first handful of days. Ok, I am stopping the metaphor now. Suffice it to say that it is windy. And the days are getting so short. I always forget how far north we are, somewhere latitudinaly north of Toronto, Canada. So it is dusk now, at 4:45pm, mid-way through November. The good news is we can light candles and listen to the blues and drink Chai and get in the bath and wear hand made sweaters and scarves. And make christmas cookies, because I am the sort of person that continues the traditions of eating and celebrating at christmas without any of the actual religious part. I don't really have any qualms with that, as Christmas was a big cover up and absorption of many indigenous and pre-Christian traditions- trees, candles and stars, santa claus (more on him in another post), passing through the darkest nights to the return (birth) of the sun (son), singing, drinking hot alcoholic drinks, baking cookies and feasting together, dancing and releasing the old year, presents (offerings); these are all traditions that belong to the time of year, rather than the particular religious festival of Christmas. SO, I can happily abandon myself to the pleasures of eating and drinking and celebrating with no guilt or remorse. phew, glad I got that cleared up.

Here are the cookies we are going to make:
Peanut butter with Hershey's kisses
Biscochitos (anise flavored New Mexico cookies)
Toffee bars (recipe from  my mother's friend from High School)
Spritz (German butter cookies that you squeeze out of a icing flute)
Chocolate Spritz
Mocha bean cookies
Bethmann's (almond/marzipan cookies)

Before Christmas, however, comes my birthday and before that comes Thanksgiving.
We'll have Thanksgiving on the weekend with our friend whose father was a GI, which makes him half American by culture and full American by passport. I am going to make pumpkin chestnut soup. And pumpkin Pie and apple pie. He'll make the Turkey and who knows what else. I'll make Gravy.

Then for my birthday We'll have a marzipan sour cherry torte, for which I promise to include the recipe here if it turns out to be as delicious as it sounds.

I have been making lots of soups lately. Other than that I have been too busy to make anything. But I made three soups this week that are worth mentioning


Pumpkin Sambar
Whenever I cook Indian food I have to get everything prepared and then it goes really really fast- almost faster than I can keep up with.

1 cup red lentils, cooked
2 cups (at least, maybe 3 is better) winter squash, steamed
1 onion, finely chopped
1-2 green chiles, chopped
1" ginger, finely chopped
1/2 cup grated coconut
1 T mustard seeds
2 tomatoes, chopped
1T tamarind paste (add to ~3T hot water and work the tamarind until a slurry forms, remove any pith)
sambar powder (make the effort to find it)
curry leaves (make the effort to find them)
salt
fresh cilantro

In a pot, pour 2T oil and heat until sizzling (but not smoking) add mustard seeds and fry for 30 seconds. Add the onion, chiles, curry leaves, and coconut and fry until golden brown (not long). Stirring continuously, add tomato, tamarind slurry, 2-3 t, sambar powder and salt. Lastly, add pumpkin, dal and water to form the consistency of a thick soup. Simmer until hot (about 15 minutes) garnish with  cilantro, eat with rice and hot mango pickle.

Kale Soup
In water add the following:
1 onion
cubed winter squash
cubed beets
bay leaves
rosemary
pinch of anise or nutmeg, optional

Simmer until tender. Chop lots of kale and add to the soup along with salt, fresh ground black pepper,  and butter. When the kale is finished, add cream to taste (don't be shy).


Greek Vegetable Soup
1 clove garlic
1 leek
12 mushrooms (white button or brown crimini)
bunch of spinach
3 carrots
1 dried red chile
bay leaves, rosemary, sage, mint
Feta cheese

Make a broth with the spinach stalks, leek outer leaves and thick green leaves (i always use the tender ones), carrot peels, bay leaves, rosemary stalks. Simmer for one hour.

Sautee leeks in lots of good olive oil till translucent, add sliced mushrooms, chopped carrots garlic and salt, red chile, chopped rosemary and sage, two cups of broth and cover. Coarsely chop spinach, crumble or cube feta, chop mint. When carrots are tender, add the remaining items, correct salt and turn flame way low. Leave the lid only half on, otherwise the spinach will go gray. When the spinach is wilted, the soup is ready. Oh, I added croutons.

Croutons
Day old bread cut into cubes
lots of olive oil
salt, fresh ground pepper, paprika
toss all together with hands
toast in the oven on 350, turning with a spatula every 5 minutes or so. keep watch and take them out when they get to the point you like.

Oh, and I have been making and drinking lots of chai. When I get a good ratio of ingredients, I'll post the recipe. And here, because I love them so much, are the sheep we saw on a drive in the Odenwald.

on not posting

I have had the stomach flu and have lately only been making things that are too disgusting to share with anyone other than the toilet bowl. enough said? But I am now well and heading into a new week.

On friday we studied Plusqueamperfect (sp?) and Praeteritum (i spelled it right) and i wasn't there so now i get to play catch up with yet another version of the same verbs I barely know in an unrecognizable form. The Praeteritum form is used when telling a story about something that is past and definitely finished. Like in a story book. Like what most of us do in our minds all day even thought it is finished.

I however, was too weak to do anything but sleep for two whole days and then I had to trick myself to stay in bed for another whole day by reading the first three books of Harry Potter in a row.

Now I am back to cooking, if not quite up to eating everything I was before. However, I have noticed in the last weeks that when I am too busy to make things with my hands- cooking, spinning, painting, whatever, then I usually end up cranky, irritable, easily hooked, tired, and miserable. Making things with my hands keeps me balanced and literally in touch with the world around me rather than caught up in the many thoughts in Praeteritum swimming around my head. That is, I don't believe them as much and I don't, as a wonderful visiting teacher at the Zen Center once said, I don't go looking for big juicy hooks to bite. So there.

Today, to make up for all of this, I made green chile stew (I have dried green chiles from New Mexico) finally took the dried mint and tarragon off of their stems and stored them in clean jars, organized all of my loose teas and labelled them, wrote this blog post, and I plan on spinning later on after I finish my homework on...Praeteritum.

Hmmm, how did it get to be the end of October already? Or anyway after the middle. I am in my third week of school, German level 5. We have a had such a flurry of activity in the last month that I have jetlag. Now, finally, we are two days in to a normal schedule. I even have time to change the sheets on the bed and nic is going to vacuum later! This morning we stayed in bed until 11am, after waking up at 8:30. delicious.

Last week was an amazingly full one, we found and were bought for our wedding present by Mama and Papa, A CAR! She is sooooo pretty.  She is a Opel Corsa, three years old, 19.000 kilometers, cd player, working heat and a/c, standard transmission, two doors, sweet little sexy thing. Star silver is her color, so we're calling her stella. Isn't she pretty?

                          
Then I got my working papers and my permission to stay for three years (after which i can apply for permanent residence). Oh and german health care. I also am maybe getting a job cooking at  a cafe on Sundays, once I get up the nerve to actually call the woman and speak to her in German. Which I am terribly shy and nervous about of course, it being my first job in a new country and the first one I have had ti find for myself in, oh, 8 or 9 years.

So, I will be more available to be writing again and posting rather more than as of late. The weather is getting cooler and cooler and is actually cold at night. It is fall, the sky is gray and rainy today. It may snow. And yet there is a life being born here for us to live. I am so curious to see what will happen next and how long it will take me to feel comfortable speaking German and feeling like I am a whole person here...it is getting better- married, car, possible job, starting massage again in january, going to school....but there is still a feeling of being mostly two dimensional in the world. Making things with my hands always helps that and being busy like I have been doesn't give me the time to slow down and make things...i have to call my spinning teacher and practice the treadle on my spinning wheel, "until I can do it in my sleep", she says.

masseurin

Which is the title I am hoping to have some time by the beginning of the new year. Hand made bodywork! I studied massage at the New Mexico Academy of Healing Arts, which I highly recommend, in 1999-2000, graduating with a 1200 hour Massage Therapy degree. They'll be sending along a new copy of my transcript and now I just have to figure out what to do with it so it is recognizable over here (aside from translating it). The Health Bureau will have ideas, of course, when I call them this morning. I am just hoping that they will not be expensive ideas.

My plan, as of now, is that next week I will get my working papers and permission to stay (because we are married!). Then, get things organized to work as a "masseurin" starting by the beginning of next year. Meanwhile, learn anatomy in GERMAN, and practice on people so I can remember what I am doing with massage. Continue my Ortho-Bionomy practice sessions and get certified by the Society in the States. Open a  practice as a Massage Therapist and Ortho-Bionomist while I take courses in Plant Medicine (starting next spring?), which I have wanted to do since I was a child picking flowers for potions in my mother's garden. Enter a 16 month study program (next march?) for the Healing Practitioner training (I have to learn how to give injections, apparently.) Sit for the exam in October 2012 (interesting) and be certified as a Heilprakitkerin here in Germany utilizing Ortho Bionomy, Massage Therapy, Energy Medicine, and Plant Medicine, and whatever else I pick up along the way.

Keep in mind the joke, "what makes God laugh? Plans." I keep saying to nic lately, "I wonder what the universe has in store for us?" Because I feel totally, foolishly, happily clueless as to what the next step is in terms of anything, not even the bodywork, though there is a sketch of a plan to aim towards. Will it happen that way? Never. Will it be better than I had thought and perfectly right in its unfolding? Of course.

Meanwhile, if you live in my area, I hope to be giving massage and bodywork practice sessions starting in November, once I figure out a place to actually work out of. I am thinking here at home in one of the rooms upstairs because my parents brought over my massage table in September (thank you). I am happy to have the conversation with you that I have with lots of people. You: "what is Ortho-Bionomy, I have never heard of it before...." Me: "Most people haven't, it is a form of bodywork that engages the self healing and self corrective reflexes of the body, moving towards comfort and ease and engaging in relationship- between the client and practitioner, the client and themselves, the practitioner, client, and universal energies. Take a look at the website if you want (see link above), and actually, it is just better if I show you." So give me a call so I can show you. For a limited time only, free!

too long

Oh my gosh, it has been too too long since I have posted. Even the three or four posts I am usually working on have faded into oblivion. Life will have her way with us all and always. So, the big news is, we're married! and I am nothing but grateful. Turning to nic every little while, as my grandmother used to say, and saying, "married" then we point to our rings. i am working on some new posts, like about the cake we have been eating like crazy. And the people I am meeting who spin and dye and felt and everything with wool. And my new beautiful basket and my little corner for wool working. And the update on the last month and the view into the next one. But now i have to go do my homework for German class, so here is a picture.

Kase und Wurst

Or, cheese and sausage. Which are definitely something that German's adore. After Bread and beer, which are their first loves.

It is harvest time here, my favorite time of year. At the market yesterday there were plums, squashes, heirloom tomatoes of all shapes and sizes, orange, green and red peppers, curly chilis, mushrooms harvested from the forrests- 6 or 7 different kinds, salad greens, corn, cucmbers, etc. and of course, bread, beer, wine, honey, candles,  chicken, eggs, cheeses (cow, sheep and goat), cured meats(mostly pork), pork, cow, lamb, wild boar, wild deer, and elk meat, And to eat: fresh pressed cider (susser), half fermented cider (most), hard cider (raucher), new wine (federweissen), zwiebel kuchen, flamm kuchen, grune sosse with potatoes, wurst, fresh fish, waffles, cake, coffee, ice cream, did i mention wine and beer?

Here is a view of the market from above courtesy of the internet.

I met my friend W yesterday afternoon at market and we headed straight for the Zwiebel Kuchen, which is a bit like a pizza crust- this one is sourdough- with lots and lots of onions and sour cream and quark, and bits of shinken, which is cured pork cut into little bits, and we drank Federweissen- which is the new wine from this year's grapes and it is all cloudy white, a bit sweet and grapey tasting and delicious. W and I are a perfect match at market, we are both completely snobby about our food, and we both like the same growers. After our lunch, we went to buy bread from our usual stand- The Winter Bakery- and then over to the fabulous milcherei, or dairy, called Herbert's Muehle- please do look at the website even though it is in German because the pictures are beautiful. They have extraordinary cheese- organic (bio) raw milk (roh milch) from Cow, Sheep and Goat. They have Lacaune sheep and Zebu cows. Then we go to the Metzgerei, or butcher, Bauernhof Frank. Bauernhof means farm. They have elk salami, so I had to try some and it is, of course, delicious. And then I had to buy some. At an organic butcher I also bought something called "nuss schinken" nuss means nut and schinken is a dried smoked cured pork similar to prosciutto.

Here are the grapes, apples, cheese and meats I bought along with  melon from the biodynamic shop that Nic works at. In the middle, is a Merlin goat cheese with a white rind, like brie, only it isn't (moaning sounds are heard upon eating), sheep roquefort (oh my god), and middle aged goat gouda. Elk salami and the nuss schinken.

I should say two things here, one is that I have now been to the market enough that I am starting to know where I like to go to get my things, one place for vegetables (more on that in a bit), two for cheeses, one for dairy, one for eggs, two for cured meats. I am still learning and trying new stalls, but so far I feel good about the people I visit, because they are people. And in two or so of the stalls that I frequent they are starting to recognize me. Which means I am beginning the wonderful process of knowing my growers and farmers and they are beginning to know who I am. I think I can finally talk to one of the people at the dairy and ask for wool!

So, the plums (kwetsche for nic's birthday cake), vegetables, and mushrooms (Steinpilze or Boletus) I purchased from a couple who have their own sausage, bread baked in a wood oven, pickles, jams, vegetables, wild mushrooms (maybe 7 different kinds), and then apples and plums etc. from a friend who grows fruit. The man is from the states and speaks english with a beautiful southern twang, maybe from Tennessee or Kentucky or Arkansas. His wife is German. He says that when the war was over, or when he was done with it, in '71 there were no jobs for him in the states, so he stayed here. We three speak a mixture of German and English together and they are really wonderful people. They have herbal lemonade each week that they make themselves as well. Everything is clearly hand made and on a very small scale, rather like Nic and I want to do some day. And they remind us of the folks at the Santa Fe Market, making their own things to sell and being very humble and beautiful about it. I am going to try and get a picture of their stand next week and I'll add it to the post when I do.

What a blissful day at the farmer's market. Here is a picture of Nic's birthday bouquet that W bought for her. Calendula and Oregano! Tschuess!

Life Partners

Excuse me for not writing in a week, but haven't felt the need to say anything. Now I want to write a bit about our Lebenspartnershaft, or Civil Union, because it is coming up two weeks from tomorrow and we are busy planning it and preparing. This is the completion of many ceremonies we have been blessed with over the last year, since leaving the zen center and being in the bardo of our transition here to Germany and into partnership. Friends have given us blessings on their land from many traditions- peruvian shamanism, Cherokee, Buddhist- and in many places- New Mexico, Maine, Eastern Canada, Connecticut. We have been blessed by many friends and loved ones all wishing us well and showing us their love and support. These have been so important to me, and the love and spirit from them still holds me close.

Quite an amazing thing to prepare for a thing such as this. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a whole hetero wedding in a white dress, etc. We're not having a seating chart, for example. Although, when my sister gets married it will be one of those. She taught me, for example, that straight girls watch wedding shows on t.v. and pick out their dresses and rings before they even know who they are going to marry. I know not everyone does that, but I didn't know anyone did that. All the same, so much more nervousness and questioning than I thought would arise bubbles up in my consciousness. Somehow making it legal makes it feel more like stuck than partnered. But of course being with her is exactly what I want. I had to turn the whole concept around and see that being together actually includes everything, that it is not the ending of things or the ending of opportunities (nothing specific here, just vague fear) but actually includes everything- including separation and death. Then I can easily agree to exploring this great adventure together. I am so curious about what will happen and how my life will unfold. And mostly, I  just don't believe myself when i have a weird thought that starts with never, or always, or what if. I just drop it and move on to something else because I know it is a fabrication. 

We are getting partnered in the old Synagogue here in Grosskrotzenburg, which is to say the place that was the Synagogue before Krystal Nacht. The uncle of a friend of ours actually stole the Torah to protect it ( He was not Jewish) and the S.S. found him running out of the Synagogue and were going to kill him, so he faked an epileptic seizure. They left him alone and he brought the Torah to the Rabbi a day or so later. It is now a space for cultural activities and ceremonies. As we went to Auschwitz this year and brought the names of the people from this town that were killed, it is meaningful to us that we will be in that space. 

Yesterday, we met with the woman who will conduct the ceremony, Frau Amberg, and discussed the specifics. I made the mistake of referring to her as du, which is the informal form of you, rather than sie, which is the formal. well, speaking another language has its risks. I only hope I did not offend her too much. I'll have to figure out how to apologize before the ceremony. We will have one more ceremony before the ceremony, which is about the nature of our relationship- stepping as adults into our partnership and honoring one another's uniqueness and gifts as well as our togetherness in partnership. The morning of the ceremony, we'll go out onto the land with two people who will facilitate the ceremony of the basket with us. Then, we'll have the partnership ceremony in the afternoon at 3. My mother will sing at the beginning of the ceremony and my sister at the end. We are going to read a few poems and there will be the actual vows and exchange of rings. (Nic always says- finally we get to wear our rings!) Afterwards, we will have sekt (champagne made with grapes not from the region of France called Champagne) and little snacks and cake and coffee. Once our life settles a bit and things are more relaxed, we will have a bigger party for all of our friends and family. But for now, it will be small and intimate. 

So there you have it, a Life Partnership in Grosskrotzenburg, Hessen, Germany between two women, an American and a German. Apart from the paperwork and the internal dialogues, it has been quite easy so far. And apart from the fact that I still don't really know what I want to wear, I think everything is organized. I'll give you the update after the fact.

Pickles and Sardinia

OK, I promised you something happy after the genocide and human atrocity lesson, and then I gave you more rant about eating and fasting and meditation. I thought it would be good to complete the piece about the fast. Now, for the fun part.


We were talking last night over the dinner table about the sauerkraut and pickles that nic's mom would make with her mom. They would have these big crockery jars and fill them with fresh cut cabbage and salt in layers, or with cucumbers for pickles it was the same but with vinegar, herbs, and water. Then, a clean plate would go on top of it and a stone on top of that. Then, it was put it in the cellar and to wait, "for a specific amount of time" till it was sour. The pottery she was referring to is called "Dippe", which is slang for the word pots Topfen and is made of gray earthenware and has usually mostly blue painting on it. We still have some at the house, they are currently used to put plants in plastic pots inside for decoration.



Anyway, Mama said a lady would come to the house and grate all of the fresh cabbage for people- that was how she made extra money- she'd bring a board with a knife blade set in it and put it over a cloth on the ground and slice up the cabbage. I could just imagine her fingers flying!

Here is my friend M's pickle recipe. I'm going to try it and let you know how it turns out. Also, I'll keep you posted on the mustard pickles.

one quart pickle slices or spears
1/4 cup whey (which you get by leaving raw milk out at room temp till it completely separates into curds (solids) and whey (the yellowy clear stuff)  or if you don't have whey they said to just use one more tablespoon of salt
2 tablespoons dill snipped
1 tablespoon sea salt
1 tablespoon mustard seed
and the rest filled up with filtered water to 1 inch below the top of jar

then seal them with lids and let them sit out for 2-3 days then transfer to cold storage, no water bathing or canning stuff needed

We saw the most beautiful documentary on the Barbagia region of Sardinia- i want to go! Firstly, it looks like New Mexico, which I am sorely missing these days. Except it is an island and has the sea. Here is a picture of the Costa Smerelda.



It reminds me in many ways of  the horse culture of the nomads of Tuva and M- except in Sardinia they are sheep people, and they stay put. Their suits are based on the traditional shepheard's suit (which a family of tailors still makes with a foot pedal sewing machine), their dances are the same quick steps that the sheep run and the music is sung at that tempo. And the songs are so beautiful, they sound a bit like the songs from georgia and the balkans, but in sardinian and with the sea in them. They are polyvochal braids of sound called "cantu a tenore"and accompanied by the Launeddas, a reed instrument requiring circular breathing to play. The music was included as a part of the UNESCO "Masterpieces of the Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity" Here is  a picture of singers from Oliena. See the black jacket? that's the shepard's suit. The cantu were traditionally sung also by women, but now are sung only by men.



Every year there is a festival in Orune for Madonna della Consolata. Folks who have left the village or the island come back to celebrate and honor her. Men cook huge vats of lamb stew and pasta and sauce. The women make the beautiful bird shaped cookies that everyone gets when they come out of church, the pasta, the bread, and run the whole thing. Pecorino Romano, made of Sheep milk and stews from lamb and fresh made pasta. yum.

old guys singing Cantu a Tenore



Some of the dancing with a beautiful song:


Here is some of the music sung by young people. Surprisingly, young people are really learning the dance and the singing of Sardinia.

Eating after fasting

So, the Fast went well, although I was still hungry every evening. And Saturday evening we broke the fast together at the Dojang. Everyone who is making a test- 18 people in all- fasted and then spent the day sitting in meditation. Like for 12 hours. Which almost no one in the room had done and which amounted to a great heaving beast of fidgeting, snoring, rustling, water drinking, window gazing, sleeping, and suffering. I was not there, but this was Nic's report. Poor thing. However, she did say she had quite an opportunity to practice, and the the insight to practice, having a larger field than the beast within which she could actually relax, in the silence around the noise. Also, she saw what a good training we had of the mind and the body while living in aforementioned zen center. She and only about three others were left sitting upright by the end of the day. Everyone else had succumbed to gravity and were lying about strewn on the battlefield of their own minds, having been totally slain by their egos, and lay limp on the Dojang floor. To be fair, almost none of these people have ever meditated and there were a handful of girls under 20 who had to be there- without their cell phones, maybe for the first time ever except when they are sleeping. This was a really hard thing they all did, and I am proud of them all for doing the best they could. And, wow.

 It is always interesting to start eating again after not having done so for a while. I ate a bowl and a half of soup and got a belly ache. It helps me to understand why, when people who have been starving receive food aid, for example, they often still die from malnutrition. The stomach has shrunken and the ability to get food into the body is diminished, let alone to digest it and deal with it once it is there. It takes awhile to build up to a normal portion and one must eat so little. A few snacks here and there, only about a cup of food each time. And this time both of us felt dizzy after we ate and I had such pain in my stomach when I ate just a little too much.  And after juicing, which is a larger ratio of of calories to substance than food, which is filled with fiber, the calories one can eat at one sitting are not so many. I think we had five small meals on Sunday. Listening to my body to see exactly what it is that it wants to eat, not what my mind wants or what my mouth wants to taste. And also when I am full, not eating more because it tastes good, or because I ate too fast to notice I was eating and enjoy it. I eat so fast!!!

Eating is so much a cultural thing, so much of a tradition that comes from a place. All of the feelings that come up when we do not to eat with people, or to eat in front of someone who cannot, or chooses not to. Or to eat more than we need or less. Usually the traditions of food teach us, without our knowing, how to eat to maintain health and vibrancy. What happens when we eat foods from other places removed from the culture that the food tradition is borne out of? What happens when we start to eat too fast? When we stop preparing our own foods? Last night at dinner, Uncle Richard said that there was a time in Germany, probably during the war, when they would put little styrofoam beads, the size of blackberry or raspberry seeds into the jams in the factory with aroma and water and only some actual fruit. Cheaper that way, and no one ever noticed they were eating styrofoam! So much arises around the food itself. How our food comes to us and from where, and whether we must grow it or cook it. How much we have, and can get and not get. Flying avocados here from Peru, for example. Or buying things out of season, or that don't grow even on this continent. Eating really is a political as well as a social and cultural event.

still no pictures from the computer. i wanted to give you a sunflower.

A short lesson

So, I think everyone who reads this blog knows that Nic and I want to work with girls who are trafficked across country borders and forced into sex work. If not, now you know that. Another abominable but connected atrocity is the rape and torture of women as a weapon of war. Especially in areas of Africa, when a woman has been raped, she is no longer accepted by her husband and is therefore cast out by her family. In the Congo, women are being gang raped and tortured as a part of the ongoing war being fought there. Essentially, the oil and mineral benefits are so high that the truth of the people is being largely ignored by, oh, the entire world.

Here is a map of Africa, you are looking for what is known as the DRC or Democratic Republic of Congo,
So, in this country there is a war going on, for almost 13 years now, which has taken the lives of 6 million people and left more than 500,000 women raped and tortured. Also, the tribe known and the Pygmies, considered the original inhabitants of that area of Africa have been hunted down and eaten. Yes, it is what you think it is. Which war, you might ask. Read here.


Please also read this article by Eve Ensler, who wrote the famous Vagina Monologues and who has been working for women's rights around the world and an end to violence against women of any kind for years now. She has written a beautiful piece called, "Congo Cancer", about her own battle with uterine cancer (amazing, right?) and her experience of working with the women in the DRC. She has helped to establish the City of Joy, which is a community in the DRC for survivors of such crimes. Here is the blog which is an information and fund raiser. Also, please see Stop Raping our Greatest Resource, which is a human rights organization to stop the rapes going on in the DRC. 


I promise to post something happy next time, but I needed to share a bit about why I want to do the work I feel called to do.

Fasting Day 3

This is the strangest fast I have ever done. Normally, I don't have any hunger, and I have a hard time eating again at the end and I don't really have any reactions to fasting. This time, I had headaches the first day and half of the second, and a belly ache during that same time. I kept drinking Master Cleanse and water and finally succumbed to the bed on Monday night. It is fair, I suppose, to say that being in an entirely new country, with entirely new surroundings, not even half as much stress as I used to have, and a totally different intention for this fast might make a wee bit of difference. But, wow, this is like, a totally new animal that I have never met.

I am fasting for two, or maybe three reasons. First, to support Nic in her fast that she has to do before the 12 hour meditation day on Saturday at her Dojang in preparation for her third dan test (third black belt). We'll break fast on saturday evening after the meditation (which I will not be attending), for which I will bring a big pot of carrot avocado soup, the recipe of which is from my friend, Micki, who is amazing and has a link in the friends column to her pictures of what she calls, Everyday Artfulness. Please look at these handmade beautiful beings that she has created. She is a true sister of the handmade life and an inspiration for me every day, especially when I receive a picture of her beautiful artfulness in my email box. Annoyingly, I still cannot get pictures onto the blog, so I can't show you.

OK, so, second reason I am fasting is because I have hated my belly and especially the fat around it since puberty, and I think it is time to come into relationship with my belly exactly as she is and stop all of that nonsense.  I have been doing all sorts of writing and questioning and diving down into what is buried in there. It is a powerful thing to do, and i am getting to look at all sorts of stuff that I thought I had dealt with already, or, that I would really rather not have to look at. The belly, known as the Hara or Dan Tien in japanese and chinese respectively, is the center of our power. Our digestion, assimilation of nutrients, our life energy, and our sexual energy are all housed and generated in the lower halves of our abdomens. I think partly it is my piece of the cultural repression of the feminine and the demand that we look a certain way etc. that I carry, compounded with my own shames and guilts and secrets and everything that I will not spill all over this blog. Just know, this is a major piece of work and supported by the fasting.

Third, because I would have liked to do a Vision Fast (see School of Lost Borders under "nourishment for the handmade life" on the right) between leaving the zen center I lived in for 7 years and moving to another country on another continent. It can help us to consciously make a change during life transitions by marking them with some kind of ceremony. I have found deep healing and power in the wild places in the world and in myself when I entrust myself to them. I will also be "verpartnered" ,meaning partnered with nic, in a civil union in a month's time and this is another good reason for going out onto the land and crying for a vision, of wholeness and beauty, to bring into our commitment of a life together. However, I am in a town in Germany and don't have the resources to do such a ceremony of fasting in the wilderness, but this is a good intention to carry while we both fast together this week. We took our rings out last night and showed them to friends and looked at the pictures of our Blessing Ceremony in May in Connecticut. It was beautiful to see all of the faces and smiles of the people who were there giving such love.

And the sacredness of the time during a fast is somehow always present, even in the midst of our lives.There were moments today, when I was walking from the train to my school, for example, when I had no idea where I was. Or, better said, I could have been anywhere- no one spoke german during those steps of mine to give some context of place and I was wrapped in the anonymity of travel. I was walking within a world of people and things, all particular in their beingness and all a part of the world fabric in that moment, and there was nothing to make it a thing to speak of, only a shared creation of place and time. This was a moment of freedom, a gift from the lightness of the fast and the faith of being here.

Fasting Day 1

Some thoughts from today:

This morning we had fresh apple juice and I had carrot juice this afternoon before my language class so I would have some sugar in my brain to understand German. Not that this helps much, but I figure I had better do everything in my power to put the odds in my favor. Turns out our new teacher has lots of energy and speaks rapid fire. Somehow, she has singled me out as the person she can best speak with, ask questions of, etc and therefore sends quite a bit my way. I try not to have a glazed look in my eyes when I look back, although with language, it is hard to hide when you don't understand. Usually it takes me a full minute before I understand sufficiently to actually formulate a response. Then is takes another minute to actually let the German words bubble up from my subconscious and arrive on the tip of my tongue in order for me to gurgle and spit them out.

That being said, we had rain again today, for like, the 30th time since July 23. Where did our summer go? I have so much adjusting to do after living in Santa Fe. So much homesickness for our little house and garden and friends and Tai Chi classes and chiles and tortillas and pinto beans and oh, green chile chicken enchiladas, or huevos rancheros christmas, or...oh, i should stop now. The point is, homesick for everyone on that side of the Atlantic Ocean, especially in the mountainous areas of New Mexico and Colorado, and in Maine and Toronto, and Connecticut...I really which the states were across a slightly smaller body of water. Meanwhile, we make a life here, or begin to, slowly, not having the slightest idea what is going to happen, and less of an idea every day.

Spinning Wheel

Oh My Gosh, Look!

                    Here is my spinning wheel!

I know what I am going to be doing this week instead of eating- fixing and figuring out how to use my new old spinning wheel! Nic and I went to the Farmer's Market in Hanau yesterday, we bought carrots and apples for juicing, lettuce starts for papa's garden, looked at hundreds of beautiful handmade baskets and as we were waiting for the bus there was a little tag sale sort of a table, everything for 5 euro (about $6.50). I saw this beauty right away and the lady thought we were looking at the box of inline roller skates next to it (who cares about inline skates anymore?) and we said no, the wheel. She said, 5 euro. I almost fell down. We asked if it worked and she said no, only for decoration. however, my eyes told me different- all parts in place except for the little hook-y things on the fly, original treadle in tact, only missing the leather connecting bits. I'll take it! 5 euro! New wheels similar to this are selling for 583 euro at ecoferme, which by the way, you should check out if you live in Europe and are interested in handmade living- they sell sheep, goats, poultry, spinning wheels, etc. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. And now, I have my old beautiful wheel for 5 euro that only needs a bit of leather and some wire hooks. And I need to find wool! I would like to find out what sort of wheel it is so I can check for parts, find replacement parts in the future, buy more spindles, etc.

In the past I have been spinning wool with  a drop spindle, which also works beautifully, and also with a small hand spindle in a gourd for cotton and silk. These work really well, and when I travel, even to the meadow, I can bring them along. However, I am looking forward to trying to use a wheel for spinning so that my foot can keep the spin while I have two hands for working the wool or whatever fiber I am working with. I would like to try to make nettle fiber and next year if i have a garden, I would like to try growing flax. Maybe after that I will try growing plants for dye. Then all I need are the sheep...which will probably take longer to acquire.

So, I have gotten the drive bands on the  wheels and figured out what kind of wheel it is, Saxony. And I think I get what all the parts are called, thanks to Joy of Hand Spinning, a fab website for folks who spin with drop spindles and spinning wheels. They have instructional videos and texts on everything from parts of a spinning wheel, to fibers, to plant dyes, to carding- all really helpful and well done.

 I have also been given a wheel by Nic's parents that some relative either found or used, no one is sure which, but it is a Castle style wheel, which means everything is all piled up vertically. Everything is in tact, but I am missing the flyer, which rests between the maidens and through the bobbins. Check out this website as well, Elizabeth's Fiber and Yarn Store for info on spinning wheels etc.

And now that I have written about spinning wheels and blackberry bushes surrounding towns, I had better include the story of Sleeping Beauty, as I am having all sorts of archetypal occurrences. Once Upon a Time...

Indian Spices 101

I went shopping with my friend, R, today to the great big Indian store near the Hauptbahnhof, or main train station, in Frankfurt. I wanted to buy all of the ingredients to make her yummy dal and for our future Sambar instruction. It was a big huge store that has things from all over- India, Africa, Sri Lanka, Thailand, I need to go back so I can spend hours there poking around and looking at every jar, package, bottle, green vegetable (they have Winged Beans and Bitter Gourd!) and piece of equipment (mortar and pestle? rice cooker? tiffin? fabulous pots and pans?).

Here is what we bought:
1 jar Mango Chutney in Olive Oil
1 package Tamarind
1 bag Toor dal
1 bag Moong dal
1 package dried Curry Leaves
1 bag FRESH Curry Leaves (to be stored in a jar in the freezer)
1 package Garam Masala
1 package Haldi (Turmeric)
1 package Ground COriander
1 jar Hing (Asafoetida)
2 pieces Fresh GInger
1 package Brown Mustard Seeds
1 package Chutney Podina Masala (mix of salt, mint, dried mango, pomegranate seed, chili,      
        coriander,black pepper, musk melon, caraway, nutmeg)
1 package Sambar Powder (toor dal, black gram dal, coriander, chili, cumin, turmeric,
       mustard, fenugreek, asafoetida, ginger, curry leaves, salt, oil)
1 package of Halwa (Indian style- wheat flour, jaggery, cardamom, cashew nuts, coconut oil)
AND A GREEN PAPAYA!!! so now i can make green papaya salad with the real thing.

Incidentally, an amazing blog about cooking South Indian food striving to be healthy while still tasting really good with a dash of crazy thrown in, is Sinful Curry. Check her out. Most recent post, pumpkin dal. looks so good.

However, I am starting a fast on Monday and will not be cooking anything. Green Papaya Salad today, a Butter Lettuce salad today, and then no eating. Nic makes her third dan test in September in Tae Kwon Do and she has a five day fast before a 12 hour day of meditation next Saturday. In solidarity, I said I would fast as well. I think it is time for a cleanse- I like to do two or three a year. We borrowed a juicer, so I may post a few delicious juice recipes, however, next week shall be dedicated to making things other than food and to starting my next course in school.

I am trying to have a different relationship with this fast- different meaning, not for weight loss, or to make myself different, healthier, better, something other. We'll see what actually comes up. But it seems to be a part of my no dogma, no habits of self hate campaign, to do this differently than almost every other fast/cleanse I have done. (Except the wilderness fast, which was a whole other thing.) So, instead of bam, no more eating today, we looked into the fridge and saw beautiful strawberries and peaches and lettuce, and the green papaya and thought- we'll only eat fruits and vegetables raw until all of these beautiful things are gone. Then we'll start the fast. So, already kindness- towards our vegetables in the fridge, our wallets, and our bodies is present. May all bellies be healthy and free from suffering.

What's Important

from the never ending story, by Michael Ende

As they advanced, one after another of Bastian's Fantastican gifts fell away from him. The strong, handsome, fearless hero became again the small, fat, timid boy. Even his clothing, which had been reduced almost to rags in the Minroud Mine, vanished and dissolved into nothingness. In the end he stood naked before the great golden bowl, at the center of which the Water of Life leapt high into the air like a crystal tree.

In this last moment, when he no longer possessed any of the Fantastican gifts but had not yet recovered his memory of his own world and himself, he was in a state of utter uncertainty, not knowing which world he belonged to or whether he really existed.

But then, he jumped into the crystal clear water. He splashed and spluttered and let the sparkling rain fall into his mouth. He drank till his thirst was quenched. And joy filled him from head to foot, the joy of living and the joy of being himself. He was newborn. And the best part of it was that he was now the very person he wanted to be. If he had been free to choose, he would have chosen to be no one else. Because now he knew there were thousands and thousands of forms of joy in the world, but that all were essentially one and the same, namely, the joy of being able to love.

                                                                  ---------------

Meaning, loving, being able to love, is what springs forth joy in us. It is not so easy to love, is it? But I think it is the task worth learning how to do well. And that it can take so many many forms in each of our unique lives. It is a demanding, truth telling, soul searing work, not to be taken lightly and not possible unless we are willing to meet the darkness, the underworld, within us and within the world. Love cannot only be in the light and the happy dancing bubbles of happiness. Love is rooted in a far deeper and darker and truer place than that. And we have to go down to the root and discover our life. 

Here is the basket, the first attempt. Nic says it is beautiful. I've decided to believe her.

Yellow and Green

squash blossoms

stuffed only with chevre

Dipped in egg and flour and sauteed in olive oil. heaven.

I have also been experimenting with making Thai Green Papaya Salad, which i love. I have all of the ingredients for the sauce, but no green papaya. So, I am using different vegetables to try it out. So far, cucumber without seeds and skin works best. Hopefully, I will find an asian market where I can buy produce.

Wild Blackberry Jam!

I harvested wild blackberries on Wednesday- 1.5 kilo! from the town of Dreieich. In the middle ages, blackberry bushes were planted in a circle around the town as a defense- sound familiar, Sleeping Beauty? and Thursday I made jars of Blackberry Jam. So yummy! Today, I harvested more from Grosskrotzenburg, maybe 2 kilos. Here is the basket with blackberries after picking them.

I'll make more jam with these and then at the end of the week, I will go pick more of them  to make a pie... and maybe ice cream, although I have no ice cream maker.

Blackberry Jam recipe (my first recipe in grams)
1.5 kilo Blackberries (1500 grams)
30g pectin mix
400g sugar, honey, agave

Sort and lightly wash the Blackberries and place them in a pot. Mix in the pectin completely and then the sugar. Bring to a boil and then simmer until the jam begins to set, maybe five minutes after the boil. Stir with a wooden spoon (I use the one Nic's grandmother used for making jam.)

Meanwhile, in another pot, bring water to a rapid boil for sterilizing the clean jars. Sterilize all utensils-  tongs, spoon or ladle (non-metal is best)

Step 1. sterilize jar.
Step 2. place on plate and fill with hot jam until 1/4 in. below the top of the jar.
Step 3. with a paper towel, wipe away any jam around the rim.
Step 4. Sterilize lid.
Step 5. Screw on lid tight and turn the jar upside down.
Step 6. Place upside down on a towel and allow to cool completely.

Repeat until all jars are filled. You do not need to boil the jars to seal them after filling (who knew?!) This took me an hour and 15 minutes to make. Then another 15 to clean up- not bad timing for 5 jars of home made blackberry jam.

By the way, in the states, Pomona's Univeral Pectin is the easiest to use ever, ever, ever, for making jams and jellies and because it uses calcium to set, you need very little sugar. Here I use some organic stuff that also has calcium in it.

 I went to the Farmer's Market in Frankfurt yesterday and bought basil for making pesto, 2 huge golden zucchinis for zucchini pancakes (recipe to come) and zucchini bread. Walnut bread, smoked schinken (like prosciutto, but German), carrots, green beans (for green beans and potatoes and to use in thai green papaya salad), butter lettuce, a bunch of scallions, and a big gorgeous eggplant. One of the stands is like the Santa Fe Farmer's Market- everything is homemade and home grown and there are little bits of everything- pickles, jam, wild harvested mushrooms, wurst, bread, vegetables, fruits, etc. and I heard the woman say something to the man in english and I heard the man answer back- and he is from the states. He has been here since 1971 minus two years- he said there were no jobs for him after the war in the U.S. And he is at market each week. That was fun to speak english with him and hear the numbers of the cost of what I bought in english numbers. 5,60 euro for the two huge zucchinis, 2 kg of plums, lettuce, and scallions. And I always get an herb lemonade from them- so delicious.

Here is one of the three sheep that live next to the cemetery where I picked the blackberries. They are so sweet. I cannot find out which breed they are, though I would love to have some one day. They were sheared not too long ago, but I never see a person around to ask if I can buy some wool. I still have not found a good source for wool, even though there are sheep around. So, I am spinning cotton and silk right now while I wait for my wool to arrive with my parents in September. They'll bring a suitcase each for me and nic and my massage table when they come. I filled my suitcase with wool, seeds, watercolors, knitting needles, fall shoes and a jacket. Typical.

slowness

Which is not my strong suit, in case any of you have noticed. Although, after living in a schedule of someone else's making for 7 years, the result is, i am looking for my own rhythm and speed, like water searches its own level. And, surprise, surprise, I find I am actually slower than I thought. Or was. And, I am still speedy too. Patience, for example, I still don't have, although the entire universe and the country of Germany are conspiring to teach me this one. But moving so fast for 7 years has paradoxically produced in me the capacity and wish for slowness. And the hand made life, whatever that turns out to be, requires time. Spinning, weaving, bead making, everything that is real and made of real things has a story and a life and is embedded in a world that I am a part of. Learning how to weave a basket out of cattails means, I have to harvest them, dry them, soak them, and then I can try to weave them. I harvested them almost 2 weeks ago and they are still drying, in all of this rainy weather, in our bathroom. I find that I have many projects all in a flow of process and in different stages of creation or destruction. And everything moves at its own rhythm. And each thing I work with "out there" has its resonance "in here". Slowness means letting everything take the time it takes, not pushing or forcing. Letting loose whatever bonds I discover, again and again, within my own belly.

I am reading David Suzuki's The Sacred Balance right now, in which he talks about how we got so far from connected- to the earth, to each other, to ourselves- through our culture of science and consumerism. He talks about recovering a worldview that is made up of the realization of practical interconnectedness with the 4 elements plus biodiversity as the 5th. A worldview is defined by anthropologists as "a story whose subject for each group is the world and everything in it, a world in which human beings are deeply and inextricably immersed. Each worldview was tied to a unique locale and people with spirits and gods...Stars, clouds, forests, oceans, and human beings are interconnected components of a single system in which nothing can exist in isolation." He points out that once we have disconnected ourselves from the sources we need to make a life- clean air, water, soil, our own capacity for the hand made, "we imagine a world under our control and will risk or sacrifice almost anything to make sure our way of life continues." But, "the challenge now is to use these techniques (of computers, science, engineering and technology) to rediscover our conections to time and space, our place in the biosphere."

To quote another blogspot blogger, Bill Shefel, "I first heard the term "the handmade life" from Clarissa Pinkola Estes' telling of the Hans Christian Anderson fairly tale The Red Shoes. In brief, the red shoes represent the glamor of the careerism, consumerism, acquisition and ambition. The wearer of the red shoes, though beginning with good intentions, is eventually "worn" by the shoes, swept into a life of speed one cannot control. Taking up the handmade life means taking off the shoes - an initially uncomfortable, disarming, confusing, lonely and very vulnerable process. It means saying "no" to a lot of things and saying "yes" to... slowness. Perhaps the foundation of recovering our connection to the "indigenous mind" is slowness...

We often ask what we can do in the face of war, environmental catastrophe, personal depression or even simple stress. The handmade life is always available to us as remedy and creative opportunity." (Check out his blog on my list to the right.)

My home base, ground level, hand made activity is cooking. It is always available, no matter where I am- I always ask to help in the kitchen while someone is cooking if I don't have access to one of my own. Cooking connects me not only to my own body, but the body of the human community and the more than human world as well as the regional tastes of what I cook and the soil, water, and sunlight from where the food grows. When I don't have a garden, can't find wool to spin, or don't take the time to sing, I can cook. And it takes time to cook. And I practice making something real and edible and nourishing out of some idea in my head or a book. Which I always need help with.

 Here is my friend, R's, recipe for dal. I think it is the best dal I have ever had. And, I got to watch her make it! She, of course, doesn't have a curry mix from the grocery store like most folks usually do, she just makes the curry in the pan while she is cooking. We used moong dal, the little yellow split mung beans. 


Cook the lentils separately in a pot or pressure cooker. We had maybe 2 cups uncooked lentils. All measurements are by your hand, meaning, you can put in however much your taste buds enjoy. However, as a comparison, when R was putting them into the pot she put not more than 1 tablespoon of anything. Between each addition of the spice mixture, saute for about 1 minute before going to the next ingredient (so, between sentences). Cook on quite a high heat, the oil should be very hot but not smoking.


For the spice mixture:
Melt the olive oil and ghee in the pot. When hot, add mustard seeds- they should sizzle and fry a bit in the oil. Add maybe 1 tsp hing (asafoetida).Then, add finely chopped green chili, 1 medium onion, small dice, and some curry leaves (maybe 15?) and stir. Add 2 cloves fresh pressed garlic and 1 Tablespoon finely chopped ginger. Add salt to bring out the juices from the onion. Add 1 Tablespoon turmeric. Add the amount of 1 tomato, crushed (from a can) or finely chopped (fresh) and saute 2 minutes. Add 1-2 tsp garam masala, 1 tsp dried ground red chili, 1 tsp ground coriander seed. Saute for 2 minutes. 


For the Dal:
Add the dal by large spoonfuls to incorporate into the spice mixture alternating with water. (Dal should be neither too thin nor too thick, it is supposed to go over the rice and not have water sitting at the bottom of the plate.) After all of the dal is added, taste for salt and correct. Lastly, add either fresh lemon juice or tamarind mixed with a bit of water and lots of fresh coarsely chopped coriander leaves. Allow to cook on very low heat until the dal is evenly warm and the flavors have had time to "marry"- about 10 minutes. Spoon over fresh cooked basmati rice and enjoy. Feeds maybe 4-6 people, depending on what else you have on the table.


R says that in India, when you eat at someone's house, you are fed and fed and fed- your plate always refilled and the host and hostess are always saying- eat! After the main meal, when the adults are talking, children are sent in to place snacks on the tables so that there will always be food available.


When did we forget the basic practices of hospitality? When did speed become more important than depth? When did quantity become more important than quality? When did we lose the holy responsibility of feeding one another and the ritual of slowing down to talk and share stories together, from our own lives and the Big Stories from our life as humans? When did spice mixes become preferred to the traditions of cooking? When talking with R she said that the food is different in every region of India and that each family has slightly different ways of making the food. She learned, of course, in her family how to make the food from her region. Literally, her mother tongue was her language and the tastes of her region. She has now learned how to make the food from her husband's region of Kerala and she is learning to speak the language. Dialects and customs change from region to region according to history, geography, geology, climate, what grows there to eat, and how it is prepared. It is the same here in Germany. Everyone speaks Hoch Deutsch, or high German, but each region has its own dialect and vernacular. The state of Hessen has its own dialect and each town has its particular pronunciation and words. There is, for eaxmple, "Krotzebojerisch" (that is how people from here call the dialect from Grosskrotzenburg- "Krotzeborsch"). I am learning not only the language of German, but also the regional dialect, cooking, and stories that come from this place. The fairy tales and Brother's Grimm are the old stories that come out of the wisdom of this very place.